My friend Stella told me this story about her daughter Emily’s habit.
“Your daughter is 11 years old and will have to stop sucking her thumb,” the orthodontist said. “The orthodontal bill will be $8000. It would be a shame to spoil the treatment and results.”
“But I do it automatically,” Emily said. “How can I stop?”
Read on to find out what they did about the problem later in this post.
Habits are part of life but they can cause us or the people around us harm. Here are some common habits many people struggle with:
- Smoking
- Chewing on fingernails
- Bingeing on Netflix
- Eating too much fast food
- Drinking too much alcohol
- Compulsive online shopping (I can relate to this one- my weakness is Bookbub)
- Not getting enough sleep
- Constant swearing
Get medical advice and supervision if you are stopping a more serious substance abuse addiction to safely withdraw from the substance.
What is a Habit?
It’s a set behavior that follows a cycle that we subconsciously carry out. It involves a trigger and reward. The brain hardwires everything we repeatedly do.
What makes us perform the habit?
It can occur after a particular trigger, it could be a time or place or a reaction to an emotional swing. We get a positive feeling from the behavior due to the release of feel-good neurochemicals in our brains.
Emily was asked what the triggers were for her thumb sucking. It tended to be tiredness or emotional lows.
How do we stop the habit?
It’s important to take note of what the triggers and rewards are so we can replace the negative habit with a good habit and new rewards. Use distraction when you get the triggers.
Changing your environment and creating a diversion, such as going for a walk, will help. It may help to eat a healthy snack. You could have your favorite hot drink, spend time with your pet, or call a friend. If it’s seriously impacting your life, call your local help organization. See my post ‘Curbing Cravings during COVID 19’ for some strategies: https://towardsrecovery.com.au/curb-the-cravings-during-covid-19/
The orthodontist gave Emily a small booklet he called a ‘Habit Diary’. He asked her to place a mark in the diary every time she went to suck her thumb over a six week period. At the end of each week she was to total the marks. The visual total reduced each week, and was an encouragement and reward for Emily to keep trying.
How long does it take to stop a habit?
It may take a month, or it may take 30 weeks. It’s important to celebrate every time you succeed in stopping that urge to carry it out. Having a friend to keep you motivated and accountable would be a huge boost to your goals.
Emily’s dilemma turned out to be a good news story. Her incentives were:
- praise from the orthodontist and her mother because of the results in the Habit Diary
- the goal of attractive straight teeth
- the pleasure of giving up an embarrassing habit
Emily stopped the thumb sucking in three weeks!
Here are some examples you can use to model your positive thinking:
– I can cut down on my drinking and it would save money, even my life.
– I can stop eating those fatty snacks. I’ll lose kilos, fit into that new outfit or jeans I bought, and look amazing.
– I’ll keep a pair of nail clippers in my pocket and use those instead of biting my nails. My partner will be proud of me and my fingers will no longer have that chewed-to-the-quick look.
In the following video ‘How to Change Bad Habits and Create New Ones’, from Smart by Design: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gc6rvFWVwdc there is a clear explanation about the neurochemicals behind the craving and pleasure of indulging in those formed habits. It is possible to insert a new routine with a new reward for a period of time. It also explains the importance of support from other people in changing the habit.
You can read more about this topic in ‘The Power of Habit’ by Charles Duhigg, https://www.amazon.com.au/Power-Habit-What-Life-Business/dp/081298160X
Breaking Bad Habits Worksheets
Click on the link https://towardsrecovery.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Breaking-Bad-Habits-Worksheet.pdf to download the motivation worksheet to help combat your habit or help a family member. This sheet can be a visual reminder that will add power to the goal of your improvement towards a better life. Print it and put it in a prominent place such as your noticeboard or fridge. It includes a weekly progress sheet. Here is an example of the information you need to fill in the sheet:
- Description of Habit
- Why I want to break it and the benefits of breaking it
- Obstacles to face while trying to break this habit
- Obstacles to overcome
- Triggers that set off the bad habit & how to avoid them.
- An alternative good habit to put in its place
- People and tools to help
Further information:
Subscribe to my no-cost monthly newsletter and blog posts to get my Live a Better Life with 25 Affirmations free (https://towardsrecovery.com.au/).
My future blog posts will cover other habits like addictions to smoking, alcohol, and other substances and will give further help and support.
If you are trying to change a bad habit to a good habit I wish you great success!